Resources For What Consent Is And Is Not

Resources For What Consent Is And Is Not

Thank you Claire Willis for sending the link helpingsurvivors.org. My readers found the information on consent to be very helpful. I also used the Pennsylvania Coalition to Advance Respect for added suggestions with this blog.

Did you know? It’s NOT consent just because someone has an erection, is aroused, or has an orgasm. Often, abusers use biological functions to convince victims they consented (helping survivors.org). In fact, these responses are involuntary. Your body reacts to things even if you are not consenting to the specific activity (think of an embarrassing function that just happened and you didn't want it to: fart, burp, vomit, peed yourself, sneezed boogies out of your nose, etc). You often don't willingly consent to body functions. They just happen.

I give my consent when:

- I am of legal age.

- I am not pressured or manipulated (coercion).

- I am not drunk, high, passed out, or asleep.

- I give a verbal ‘yes’ to each initiated sexual activity, each time.

- I feel respect and trust in the relationship.

“Create space for me to respond.”

I’m not giving my consent when:

- I say ‘I don’t want to’.

- I pull away from you.

- I tense up or flinch.

- I laugh nervously or fail to respond to you.

- You sense that I am uncomfortable.

“Silence is never consent.”

Be respectful and ask me:

- “Do you want to stop?”

- “Do you want to do something else?”

- “We did this before, do you want to do it again?”

- “Are you comfortable with this?”

- “Are you okay?”

“If you are unsure, ask me.

I will tell you. “

Your sexuality is your gift to self.

It's okay to take it slow...

and still end up with,

"I said no."